I have a promise to keep. Several years ago, I made a commitment to a friend that I would come visit her home. Unfortunately, she lives about five states away from me.
This was my commitment,
“Someday, I am coming to see you!”
Her parents do live nearby, so we see each other most years when she comes to visit her parents at Christmas. However, it’s not the same. I want to see her home. I want to meet her friends. I want to meet her beautiful dog. I want to see her life.
I made this commitment to her before I became a full-time caregiver for my husband. The life of a caregiver is busy, constant, and usually revolves around a certain schedule. My life has very little flexibility and personal choice. Everything I do is done for the benefit and safety of my husband.
One day, I will fulfill this commitment to my friend. I will make that journey. I will make sure the car has a full tank of gas and I will leave at sunrise. I will drive alone across those five states. There will be many stops along the way to see absolutely anything and everything that looks interesting to me. There will be no hotel reservations to rush to. There will be no schedule at all. Even my dear friend won’t know what time to expect me at her house.
She will, however, be able to track my every move on Facebook. I would post pictures of every tourist trap between my house and hers. I would be slightly obsessive about these posts, just because I could be. The travel life of a caregiver is practically nonexistent, so it would be fair to expect a caregiver to be overly indulgent to make up for lost time.
Spontaneity is the dream of every caregiver. The idea of being able to do anything at any given time is completely foreign. Most caregivers would be thrilled at the chance to jump in a car and drive as far away as possible. It would be a welcome change of scenery to get away from the daily and constant stress of caregiving.
It’s hard to know when this trip will happen. A lot depends on the health of my husband and his requirements. I can’t predict how this trip will fit into my future. For now, I have important responsibilities here at home.
Perhaps, it’s better for the trip to live in my dreams right now. Sometimes the planning can be as much fun as the actual trip. There is one thing of which I am certain. It will be a fabulous trip to remember.
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